Strip Clubs Can Add Years To Your Life

By Vince Leona

Ever wonder how to add years to your life? Well a new study shows that regularly visiting strip clubs can add 8-12 years to your life. I talked to DC‘s Dr. Macknow about his study.

VL: This is a crazy statistic that you came up with! Tell me about the entire process and how you got to this statistic.

DM: In 1987 we took 200 single guys and started running data on them. All of them were in perfect health and between 45-55 years old. 100 of the guys were people who had zero interest in going to strip clubs, and the other 100 were guys who went to strip clubs 1-3 times a week. We have over 25 years of data to prove our experiment and the results are astounding. 97% of the strip club goers are still alive with 90% of them in perfect health. For the guys who never go to strip clubs, only 43% of them are still alive, and out of the 43% only 50% of them are in perfect health. So basically 97/100 guys are still alive that went to strip clubs 1-3 times a week, and only 43/100 of the non-strip club guys are still alive.

VL: That is a crazy statistic! Besides tragedies and hereditary diseases, what do you make of this data?

DM: Well I think the strip club got that heart pumping! It gave these older single guys something to look forward to everyday. They had a purpose in life! They weren’t sitting home alone miserable, wishing that they had somewhere to go.

VL: So these guys are now between 70 and 80 years old. Do they still go to the strip club?

DM: The funny thing is that the study we conducted kind of kept them wanting to go to the strip club. Most of them are now convinced that the strip club is their fountain of youth. And the data we conducted has proven it.

VL: After seeing this data, you would think the 43% of the non-strip club goers would want to start going to strip clubs!

DM: Funny you say that, because I had all the guys out a few months ago when my research was completed, and 10/43 regularly visit strip clubs. They actually have quite the crew of old men who go every week. It’s like getting a crew together for golf, but instead going to the strip club. The young girls keep these guys entertained, and give them a reason to wake up every day.

VL: Bottom line, do you recommend all men need to go to a strip club at least once a week to stay healthy?

DM: It can’t hurt! Especially if you are a guy over 40 who is single. It stimulates your libido and keeps you young. Being around gorgeous, naked women keeps the heart healthy.

VL: I guess I better start hitting up that strip club once a week!

DM: I will see you there my friend (laughs)!